The birth of Annalise - Stillborn at 20 weeks

Saturday, October 26th 2024 I was called to support a family I had never met. They were preparing to induce labor to birth their little girl that they would never be able to bring home. 

Early genetic screening showed high risk for Monosomy X, also known as Turner's syndrome. Genetic counseling and many scans confirmed her diagnosis of Turner's syndrome as well as fetal hydrop's at 13 weeks. They sought out a second opinion and every test they could, only be told she was "not compatible with life".

"Time turned into something so unrecognizable. It felt like we were stuck in the stage of not knowing forever, but in reality it was only a couple of months. The longest weeks of my life. She was born sleeping at exactly 20 weeks."

When getting ready to support a family I've never met it's hard to know what I will walk into. Sadness is expected of course, but everyone grieves and processes differently. Lacy told me she expected to just cry the whole time. I told her that was absolutely ok. But that it's also ok to laugh and smile and tell stories. You do whatever feels right in the moment without judging yourself. Allll the emotions are so valid and normal to experience. 

When I walked into the labor room at Catholic Medical Center I was greeted by Preston and Lacy. Raelynne their 16 month old daughter was napping in her playpen. The room was quiet and calm. Lacy and Preston were passing a pink crochet blanket back and forth. Taking turns line by line making a blanket for their sweet baby. Hours went by and we sometimes sat quietly, other moments filled with tears, conversations, questions, and getting to know each other. I got to know all about the other 7 siblings at home. Raelynne would be the only one to meet her little sister. 

Eventually Lacy's labor picked up and became more intense. With the intensity came big emotions. It's hard to even understand the sensations of delivering a 20 week baby vs. full term. The cervix only has to dilate to maybe 5-6cm before feeling the urge to push. I often remind my clients that we are first saying "Hello" before we say "Goodbye."

At 6:13pm Annalise was born en caul and placed into her mama's hands. 

If you or other families local to Concord, NH are experiencing a loss of any kind and need support please reach out. Doula Support and Photography is always free and available to those who need it. There are many of us in the community able to support your family during this difficult time.